Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bonecrunch Fighting League 1/12/08

This is another fight card from Fightzone's TV series on Sun Sports. Bonecrunch Fighting League attempted to capitalize on the failure of the IFL by basically being like an Arena Football League to them. Points are awarded for stoppages over decisions here, unlike the IFL. Well, they were. The League shuttered up two weeks after this card. The first portion of the show features a battle between Gracie Black Belt Rob Khan's team and one brought by Din Thomas. Randy Harris and Benjamin Glossop are the announcers. 

Khan's fighters are on the left, Thomas' on the right.

1) GILBERTO BURGOS vs. PAT SEIDEL: This is at 135. Burgos is 1-0, Seidel is 1-1.

Burgos shoots in for a takedown, sweeps the leg and is in guard. Seidel gets a high guard and goes for an armbar. Burgos slams him twice and gets out, but gets locked into a triangle. He tries to punch his way out against the cage. Seidel transitions to an armbar then back to a triangle. Burgos starts going for a slam but Seidel releases and Burgos continues with punches. Really nice punches against the cage by Burgos. He finally breaks through and is in the full guard dropping 'bows. Seidel tries to sweep with butterfly guard and Burgos takes him down with a slam again. Seidel regains guard and goes for another triangle, then transitions between it and an armbar attempting to get a submission. Burgos is still single minded in looking for a stoppage by strikes. Another armbar attempt fails and Burgos probably wins the round.

Second round opens with Seidel dropping for a shot and just pulling guard when that fails. Both men have abrasions, but Seidel is far worse off with a pretty decent on his nose, over by his left eye. The submission attempts have slowed to barely happening; Seidel looks burned out. He does go for a gogoplata and is easily defended against and Burgos moves to side control. There's some rolling that goes on and Seidel ends up on his back holding Burgos in guard. Seidel has some pretty solid BJJ and goes after lots of submissions, but he's awful at finishing them. He's had so many good opportunities that if he loses, he has no one to blame but himself. Burgos probably outstruck Seidel 50 to 1. 

A third round and Burgos goes for a takedown off a very lazy Seidel punch. After some time inside the guard, he passes momentarily, but Seidel is good enough to regain it. Problem with both: Burgos is a decent wrestler who would be submitted by a better grappler, and Seidel is a decent grappler with no standup with too much willingness to pull guard and take shots. Seidel goes for a triangle and Burgos easily breaks through it. Not much more to the fight. Burgos wins by unanimous decision. (0) Decent fight, neither man means much in the scheme of things.

2) JOHN TURNER vs. RALPH ACOSTA: This is at 145. Bass is 1-0, Turner is making his debut. Acosta goes for a body lock and take down early. Acosta goes for an armbar and is successful with it. (0)

3) JOE "BAMBOO" WISSMAN vs. MIKE HYMAN: What an unfortunate last name. Welterweight fight, with Wissman being the more experienced of the two with a 1-0 record. 

Bamboo has apparently quit his job to fight full time.  He has a horrible haircut and an even worse tattoo of a spinal cord on his back. Hyman stuns and drops Wissman with a punch, and then drubs him a bunch on the ground as Wissman sorta flops around. Wissman survives and Hyman stands up out of his loose guard before diving back in. Sloppy fight on ground and standing. Hyman is nearly caught in a bad triangle but pulls loose and forces the ref to stand up Wissman. "Awesome action" says the announcers. I suppose. Seeing some M level talent in a slug fest is not the greatest thing ever. Dana would give these guys bonuses on TUF. Wissman lands some pretty stout looking knees but Hyman doesn't buckle too badly and he ends up on top inside of Wissman's guard. Wissman uses a omaplata to sweep and crucifix the arm as the round ends and just blasts some punches into Hyman's face, and the ref stops the fight with about 5 seconds left in the round. Somewhat questionable stop from Jorge Alonso. Wissman has gone onto lose his next fight. (0)

4)  MIGUEL SHOFFNER vs. MITCH HARRIS: This is the fourth fight for this team bout and its not listed on the card for this post weighins. Its at 185.

Miguel has some karate style kicks and apparently is a pro wrestler of some sort in Mexico. Harris is bothered by something, complains to the ref, and gets bombed by Schoffner. Harris just falls down and the fight is over. Schoffner does the post fight interview with a lucha mask on. 

5)  ALONZO ROANE vs. JOE STUTZMAN: Heavyweights! Who doesn't love fat men pummeling each other? Oh, me.

Stutzman is hella active standing in place, which means he will gas if this goes more than 4 minutes. Roane is looking for takedowns and gets a big slam, starting in side control, eventually going to north south. It ends up back in side control and Roane locks up a kimura but can't finish. Roane is a poor man's Wayne Cole, which gives you some idea how exciting watching him lay on top of a guy is. 4:40 of Roane laying in side guard in this round.

Round 2 opens and both are gassed. Alonso takes lots of time cleaning the ring up. Roane goes for a single and eventually gets a takedown and is in half guard. Nothing happens and Alonso finally stands this up. Both have awful standup. Stutzman throws a big right hand lead and gets bodylocked, pushed into the cage, and then takes him down, right back into side control. Roane locked up the arm and throws some punches, and Stutzman just sorta moves and gets out of it and gives up his back. Roane doesn't put the hooks in and Stutzman stands up, only to get slammed Rock Bottom-style to the mat. Stutzman survives and gets up to throw lazy punches which land and seem to affect a gassed Roane. Roane is able to grab a leg and get a single and return to side control. Stutzman's most effective strikes are knees to the head on the ground from his back that he is warned for. Another strong round for Roane.

A third round? Oh man. Why did I pick this? Roane gets a single leg takedown after Stutzman throws a shitty right hand. I fast forward because this fight is shitty. Roane wins with a sort of reverse STF. (0)

Now its onto Tim Riddle's Cinci team to face Ross Kellin's Lakeland Blaze! I know, I can't believe this promotion is out of business either. Kellin's guys are on the right.

6) RYAN MCINTOSH vs. STEVEN WEEKS: Pro debut vs. guy with 0-2 record.

McIntosh throws Weeks with a front headlock, lands 'bows, knees when they stand again, another takedown, slams his way out of an armbar, and just outclasses him in every aspect for the first 90 seconds. Weeks reverses position and gets lasts in dominant position for roughly 20 seconds before McIntosh bucks and gets on top. Weeks gets an arm and acquires an armbar that McIntosh cannot slam his way out of. Tapout win for Weeks. (0)

7) MATT TERLAU vs. JOHN SCHALL: Heavyweights. Terlau is listed as 4-0 and has some meaty man tits.

Schall with a takedown early. Is he related to Meat Truck? Perhaps. Terlau reverses position and gets armbarred. He tries to stack up and defend it, but fails. Schall with a w. (0)

8) ANTONIO GRANT vs. DANNY RUIZ: Final fight for the night. No idea what weight this is.

Ruiz with a shot early and he can't get a takedown thanks to Grant's holding of the cage. He pulls him away and gets him down with a double and then punches him a bit. Grant doesn't know what to do other than to keep a closed guard and hope the other guy gets tired. Ruiz doesn't. Ref stoppage and Ruiz is your winner. He reappears shortly after to fight Spirit Wolf in the WFC show I've already reviewed. (0)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Burgos/Seidel

KO OF THE NIGHT: Ruiz/Grant

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Roane/Stutzman

Overall for the Night: 1 out of 10. Really, this is a pointless show. No one looks like a prospect here, the promotion is dead, the production is mediocre, etc. There were some awful fights to boot.

D&R RATING: 0%. 



Monday, December 29, 2008

WFC 6 (3/22/08)

This is from the Fightzone TV broadcast courtesy of Sun Sports. Jay Adams and Benjamin Glossup. Lots of hype about how awesome this is gonna be and I know nothing about any of these dudes.

1) MATT MCCOOK vs. GABE MALDONADO: This is at 155. McGirt is 2-0 and has white trash dreads. Other dude is making his debut. Maldonado lands a right early and is taken down shortly after. McCook pushes him against the cage and gets locked into a triangle. McCook doesn't really do a good job defending it and while he hangs on for awhile, and gets swept with it. Maldonado ends up tapping him less than two minutes in. (0)

2) DANIEL PEREZ vs. MARCUS JONES: Two undefeated heavyweights. Perez is a lumpy guy, Jones is pretty cut. Neither has more than 2 pro fights.

Marcus has that old school BJJ stance and I'm stunned that he's going with that. So is Perez, who punches him in the face and drops him very early. Jones never recovers and is stopped shortly after. (0)

3) YORK ASH vs. ERIC REYNOLDS: At 155. Reynolds is 7-0, Ash is from TRAVERSE CITY, MI. Holla at me, Cherry Capital.

Reynolds rushes across the ring and gets caught in the clinch after doing nothing. Apparently Reynolds is a kickboxer or something and that will matter, but right now its all about greco clinch. Ash pulls guard but gets slammed hard. Reynolds throws some strikes and then stands up. Great front kick by Reynolds. Ash looks gassed at the 1:30 mark. Clinch again. Reynolds with karate style kicks. Also catches a roundhouse by Ash and punches him a couple times. Ash is cut over the left eye pretty badly. Ash ends up just giving up his back and goes to the mat. Easy submission for Reynolds. (1) because Reynolds will probably end up getting thrashed in TUF eventually.

4) PATRICK MIKESZ vs. JOE WISSMANN: At 185. Wissman is undefeated, Mikesz is from the Czech Republic and 4-3.

Joe gets a takedown early and the czech dude who is supposed to lose sweeps him. Apparently Wissmann wins off his back, so I'm guessing he's okay with this. Rubber guard from Wissmann. Nothing really happens and Mikesz stands out of the guard and then goes for stomps to the stomach. He is pulled back into the guard for his trouble and nearly leglocked. After that, Wissmann doesn't do much of anything and Mikesz does little to actually cause damage. Mikesz stands up periodically and on one occasion in the first, Wissmann shoots for a single. Mikesz spins off that, takes his back, and sinks in a RNC. (0)

5) JESSICA AGUILAR vs. ANGELA MAGANA: 120lbs. Women. Who cares?

Magana pushes her punches and Aguilar is counter punching with the hooks. Solid right hand shakes Magana and Aguilar uses the opening to clinch and get a takedown. The announcers like women's MMA because they "listen to their corners". Even in MMA, there are gender roles. Aguilar assaults the senses by laying in half guard and waiting for a standup. Of note: 5 minute rounds in this. This is not a good thing because I don't care about this and want to move on. Wild swinging occurs. Aguilar with a Matt Hughes style slam. And yes, they lay in half guard doing nothing. Round eventually ends.

Round 2 starts like most of the rest except that Magana pulls guard instead of getting slammed. She sweeps Aguilar and it is seemingly in slow motion. Aguilar sweeps her and is in mount. Aguilar is bleeding and I don't know how. Magana escapes out the back after hellaslow GNP, but apart from surviving, there's nothing to be said about this great success. We end up with more half guard and more slow motion lesbian rape. Dan Severn is apparently calling this bout too but you can't tell because the mics sound so bad.

Yes, there's a third round. Clinch with Magana going for the guillotine. Since this fight sucks, she does not succeed. It gives her an opening for knees and her first effective offense of the fight. Aguilar with a double leg takedown. More painfully slow submission wrestling style ground work. Fight is stopped while Magana is going for an armbar because of a small cut on her face. (0) One of the more horrible fights this year.

6) TOM LAWLER vs. SHANE PRIMM: Yes, you read that right. Dudes from TUF against each other before TUF.

Standup in the early going, with Lawler getting a strong position in the clinch following a superman punch. He backs off but uses the opening from another punch to clinch and takedown Primm. Primm goes for a triangle and Lawler goes for a power bomb to get out. He doesn't actually get the slam off, but Primm does end up releasing it. Lawler has a D'arce in pretty tight and then throws a knee to Primm's head with all 4 points down. Primm sells it well and wins by DQ. Interesting historical footnote, just like Kyle Kingsbury's similar fight in KOTC. (1)

7) RICH ATTONITO vs. RYAN HODGE: I feel like I've seen Attonito before.

Attonito drops Hodge right away with a right hand and ends up in his guard. Attonito pushes him up against the cage and lands some more blows. Hodge gives up the back to try and improve position and actually returns to a standing position before being slammed back to the mat with Attonito in side control. Hodge eventually regains guard but is not terribly offensive off of his back. When he's able to get back to a standing position he just gets slammed again. Hodge gets the fight standing again and while he tries to steal the round, he gets taken down once more.

Hodge lands a nice flying knee at the start of the first, but a second attempt at one gets him taken down. The next 2:3o are all about Hodge getting punched in the face from his back. It ends when he gives up his back and continues to be punched with less resistance. Attonito is looking for a suplex or choke and neither is really present, so be just keeps throwing punches. The round ends with Attonito landing punches while in back control.

The third is a replay of the other two combined. Hodge takes some punches standing, gives up his back and is pounded for awhile until submitting verbally. (1)

8) EFRAIN RUIZ vs. DAVID VIEIRA: Vieira has a really nice backdrop. Both are welterweights.

Ruiz came out swinging, Vieira clinched and then pulled guard, then stood up. Vieira is a wikdman on the mat and its pretty awesome to watch him transition between various attempts. Standing d'arce/anaconda for awhile, then Vieira pulls guard. Boring grappling battle for much of this round. Its a battle of positioning with Ruiz trying to be on top and Vieira allowing it. Ruiz gives up his back for a moment and gets choked out. (1) for Vieira.

9) WAACHIIM SPIRIT WOLF vs. DANNY RUIZ: Welterweight title fight.

Spirit Wolf goes for a single at the start and Ruiz defends it against the cage for awhile. Ruiz reverses and has underhooks. They end up separated once more and back into a tenative striking bout. Ruiz with some strong punches and he stuns Spirit Wolf, then later hurts him quite badly. Spirit Wolf has some serious heart though and keeps on going. After some strikes are landed between the two, the lights go out. Pentagon Combat? Spirit Wolf claims he hurt Ruiz with some punches at some indeterminant point I'm sure was before the lights went out. Spirit Wolf gets the takedown and Ruiz responds with a high guard and some triangle/armbar setups. Spirit Wolf stands up out of the guard and then drops some bombs down on his opponent. Ruiz is out cold and the native american is your new champ. (0)


Fight of the Night: Attonito/Hodge

KO of The Night: Spirit Wolf/Ruiz

Submission of the Night: Maldonado/McCook

Overall: 1.5 out of 10: Seriously, none of the fights were actively good, no high level fighters, even the production was bad with audio issues the entire time.

D&R Rating: 9% (4/45)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

European Vale Tudo Genesis (12/6/2003)

After like, 3 months away, I go ahead and finally do a new review. This show I downloaded from somewhere. I can't understand the announcer. Oh, wait, he's not even speaking English, that's why. The event is in Copenhagen, not that you care and is held in a small cage. Production values are a couple DV cams.

1) CHRISTIAN GRAUGART vs. SONNY NIELSEN: This is at 77KG which is like, not heavyweight. 3 5 minute rounds.

Graugart gets a TD and mounts pretty early on. BOMBZ are thrown and the other dude is no good, so he just gets hit and flails a lot until using the fence to reverse position and end up inside the guard. Graugart sweeps him momentarily and is utilizing a high closed guard to prevent anything from happening while he's on his back. Nielsen tries to get out and is armbarred. Graugart has done nothing since. (0)

2) JOAKIM ENGBERG vs. SKI SVIRSKIS: At 77KG again. 

Engberg with takedown immediately, and lies inside the guard. Svirskis is kinda active off his back with punches that do nothing. engberg pushes him into the fence. Svirskis goes to rubber guard, fails to do anything, Engberg escapes, and starts throwing punches and elbows, most of which land. this continues for some time until the inevitable stoppage. Engberg is still on the European circuit. (0)

3) MARIO STAPEL vs. THOMAS HYTTEN: 77KG bout. Stapel is the biggest MMA fighter in Germany, capable of selling out venues that seat 2000. Its like being the most famous grindcore band in Japan. 

Staple with a flying front kick that doesn't land, into clinch. Hytten is able to pin him against the cage and get underhooks. Stapel is much bigger, actually. Did I mention that being the best MMA fighter in Germany doesn't mean you're very good? If some nobody from Norway can get underhooks and take you down, your chances with like, Tyson Griffin are not good. Hytten stands out Stapel's guard and in an attempt to punch him gets his leg hooked. He punches his way out, Stapel rolls around a little, and Hytten is in half guard, then to side control. Stapel regains half guard, then sweeps, goes for a single, and is caught in a guillotine. Hytten can't sink it, and Stapel pops his head out after some frightening moments. Much laying occurs, and the crowd is stunned with such excitement, they are speechless. Round ends. 

We enter the second round, and it starts with bad linear standup into a clinch, this time initiated by Hytten. Stapel is looking for a single and eventually succeeds, but just ends up standing out of it so they can clinch again against the cage. Slow dirty boxing until Stapel pulls guard. More laying. Hytten stands, throws some half hearted leg kicks, Stapel gets a heel trip, and then stands again to throw leg kicks of his own. Butt scoot inactivity = worst. It goes on for awhile too. Stapel jumps through the guard, is kinda slow doing it and doesn't succeed, then tries to get a leg lock. They trade heel hooks for the rest of the round and are motionless doing so.

A third round! Thrilling! They paw at each other for awhile this time, only ceasing to do so to throw big kicks that don't land. Hytten throws awful punches, Stapel spins him around, but then gets spun himself and Hytten takes his back standing. Somehow, they both go to the ground and they are looking for leglocks. Hytten gives up a knee bar and Stapel tries rolling into it to lock it up, but ends up losing the leg and has Hytten in half guard on top. A punch is thrown by Hytten, meaning that they're just not good enough to remember to GnP, not that this is a gentleman's agreement. Stapel sweeps, passes guard to side control, and Hytten turns over and goes for a single to get back in top where he can be delightfully inactive. He pushes for it and pushes for it and there is more grappling where no one actually moves. Stapel briefly tries to get up and fails. Hytten tries to pass guard by going through the right leg of Stapel. Round ends. Dull fight that I give to Stapel 29-28. Hytten wins, and since this, he's gone on to lose to Sergey Golyaev in ZST. Stapel will probably lose to someone in the UFC. (1)

4) KIM HOVGAARD vs. AARON BLACKWELL: 70KG bout. Blackwell looks to be 14.

Headkick by Hovgaard real early on that is awesome. Blackwell responds by shooting a double, and he does get the fight down. He stands out of the guard and starts throwing some spinning kicks and shit. Another single leg attempt is defended by Hovgaard, so he goes for a double. Hovgaard spins to Blackwell's back and puts in both hooks, but he's high enough up that Blackwell can turn himself around. Lots of scrambling on the mat and both men end up standing again. Not a bad fight, though a little substandard technically. Kicks and clinching again, with Hovgaard getting Blackwell down and mounting him. Blackwell gets half guard but still absorbs a lot of punishment. Hovgaard goes for a leg lock, but can't sinch it up, and the ref stops the fight for a low blow by Blackwell, and stands them up. Hovgaard with a big right hook, then follows with a flying armbar, which he actually gets and wins by. Sadly, Hovgaard hasn't fought since 2004. (1)

5) MARK EPSTEIN vs. TRAVIS LUTTER: Woah. That's an upgrade in matchmaking.

Epstein with some punches that don't land, Lutter with a takedown and into half guard. Epstein is going for a guillotine he has no chance of getting. In wasting his time, Lutter passes to side control and pops his head out. Knee on belly and some punches from Lutter, who is just controlling poor Epstein. Very transparent armbar setup, but Lutter just grapevines the arm and lands some shots in the Hughes crucifix position before giving that up. More knee on belly, and that finally leads to an armbar attempt. Epstein defends it and somehow bucks out, but again Lutter is on top, this time in mount. He returns to side control/knee on belly, then transitions back to mount and doesn't do much initally. Epstein tries to bridge and isn't even close. Lutter is taking us to lay and pray city with his Sherk like fight method of "change position once every 30 seconds, do nothing". Round ends.

Second round mirrors the first. Lutter with immediate takedown. This time they edit the fight and we see Lutter go from side control to mount back to side control. Usually I hate clipped bouts and don't rate them. This will be different. Epstein finally tries a serious escape and gets his back taken and a choke sunk in almost instantly. (3)

6) MARTIN KAMPMANN vs. TONI VIVAS: Another interesting fighter in Kampmann, Vivas is a step down from Epstein though.

Vivas has no standup and Kampmann lands some short shorts that are rather bothersome. Vivas clinches and holds on tight. Waltz around the ring with Kampmann throwing knees to the body and trying to shake off the spaniard. Eventually they separate and Kampmann ilands a bunch of stuff to the head. Vivas tries to go to buttscoot and more punches land. The ref stops it and vivas complains. No one cares to listen. (2)

7) SCOTT IRELAND vs. LARS BESAND: Is this a swing bout?

Big slam to start things from Besand, and he is in side control. He passes to mount and then throws some punches. If you are stoked to see a skinny white dude get punched in the face by a tatted up guy who looks 10 years older than him, you are in luck. It sounds like a bizarre fetish film, honestly. Once mounted, Besland punches him for about 4 minutes until Ireland taps out. Two fights later, Besand was stopped by Jordan Radev in 8 seconds. (0)

8) GUY MEZGER vs. DANIEL BERGMAN: The final fight in the career of Mezger.

Bergman looks huge in the ring. Doesn't mean much though with Mezger. Clinch early after some jabbing by Mezger and he and Bergman push each other around. Bergman ges a trip takedown but position is reversed almost instantly, with Mezger getting on top in side control, then mount. Bergman gives up his back and it appears that it should be over soon. Bergman turns over a few times and is popped in the face consistently between mount/having Mezger on his back. Mezger gets one hook in and lands a lot of body punches over a long period of the round  in control of Bergman, along with the occasional hammer strike. Bergman rolls back into having Mezger in guard, which isn't that much better, as he is now getting hit in the face instead. Bergman simply lacks answers to the questions posed by Mezger. The ref separates them and the round ends. 

Round 2 opens with some standup, which Bergman is much better at, but after some even trading, Mezger scores a takedown and is in the half guard of Bergman. More strikes are landed and its a repeat of the last round in terms of Mezger domination. Bergman keeps looking like he'll give his back up only to turn back over and take more punches to the dome. He does eventually do a fine job of momentarily escaping but Mezger just pins him back against the cage and throws punches till the ref stops it. (3)

Fight Of The Night:  Hovgaard/Blackwell

KO Of The Night: Mezger/Bergman

Submission Of The Night: Hovgaard/Blackwell

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 4 out of 10. Short as the whole kit and caboodle came in at under 54 minutes. Some interesting stuff historically (Mezger pre-stroke! Lutter pre-weight fail!) along with a couple winners and the ability to say that you've seen Mario Stapel fight and that he is not any good. 

D&R Rating: 10/40 (25%)