ULTIMATE FIGHTER 9: THE POST

Want to know what happened at Ultimate Fighter? NOW YOU WILL. Minus the shit where they threw feces at each other, of course. IN ORDER OF TELEVISION....UH...TELEVISING:

UK PRELIMS:

1) Gary Kelly/Andre Winner: Clinch, Winner overpowers Kelly with strikes, takes him out inside 2 minutes. Kelly completely overmatched.

2) Jeff Lawson/James Bryan: Lawson with judo throw, GNP, pass to half guard/side control, eventually transitions to armbar. No challenge.

3) Che Mills/James Wilks: Mills drops Wilks with punches, but gets his leg caught in a heel hook. Mills was favored to win the whole show!

4) Martin Stapelton/Dan James: Stapleton is better standing than James and on the mat. Mount, GNP, James gives the back, and its RNC time.

5) AJ Wenn/Ross Pearson: Clinch early, Pearson with the takedown, but Wenn gets back to his feet. He throws some knees in the clinch, but gets slammed back down. Wenn is good at getting up though. And then being slammed again. Pearson is just flat out stronger. Wenn is hurt by a knee to the body at the end of the round. Second round starts with a 1-2 from Pearson and Wenn drops. He's pounded out.

6)Tommy Maguire/Nick Osipczak: Maguire with the takedown, pass to half guard, and Osipczak is out the back door. Maguire goes for the guillotine and pulls guard, but Nick is out and throwing elbows. He stands out of the guard, and then proceeds to pick apart Maguire standing with good boxing. Actually my favorite performance.

7) Alex Reid/Dean Amasinger: All three rounds are not shown, but Amasinger gets a decision.

8) James Bateman/David Faulkner: Bateman with an early takedown, but Falkner is back up quickly and is throwing knees. He shoots for a single and is successful with th takedown. He throws some punches, forces Bateman to try and shift out and ends up grabbing a leg for a submission.

US PRELIMS:

9) Mark Miller/Kevin Knabjian: Miller has better hands, Knabjian is off balance the entire time. Maybe that is what they call "unorthodox striking" now? He's bleeding from the mouth too. Second round Knabjian throws a right hand that drops Miller and follows him down, then goes for a leglock. Miller escapes and starts throwing wildly. Its effective though, because Knabjian is terrible, and he lands an uppercut that stuns his opponent and leads to a wild flurry and stoppage.

10) Richie Whitson/Paul Bird: No idea who these dudes are. Richie is hella redheaded. Bird grabs the takedown, Whitson gives the back, but escapes, throws a release german, Bird returns with a head kick, and ITS ON. Bird is cut, panicking, and getting tired. He can't get the takedown midway through the first, and Whitson is in the drivers seat. Bird tries an armbar in desperation, and eats nothing but shots as a result. Whitson wins by rear naked.

11) Waylon Rowe/Santino DeFranco: DeFranco had a brain injury that kept him off TUF 2. Usually, brain injuries mean you don't get a license for boxing, but Nevada feels different about MMA, it seems. Rowe with a takedown, lots of shots, and DeFranco is lucky for once that its Mazzagatti allowing him to get bombed on. This is because the entire final 3 minutes is him defenselessly taking shots. He lands a desperation knee on a shooting Rowe at the start of the second, hurts him, takes the back and gets a rear naked choke.

12) Steve Berger/Jason Pierce: Berger is a well known journeyman. He is also terrible.

We only see clips, and Pierce wins after apparently being dominated by the clips. Huh?

13) Cameron Dollar/Tom Hayden: Dollar is indicative of every hypermacho douche that participates in this sport. He wins with a rear naked choke after getting his ass beat for a round and a half.

14) Damarques Johnson/Ray Elbe: Ray Elbe and Johnson are respected journeymen. That is as much as can be said. Johnson gets a takedown after some uncomfortable standup, eventually stops it with strikes from that position.

EPISODE 3:

15) Kiel Reid/Frank Lester: Lester is dropped early with a right hook, gets pinned against the cage in half guard. He is nearly caught in a guillotine and fights out to his feet. Reid tries to slam Lester and Lester holds the arm and...oops, Reid knocked himself out. Frank Lester, ladies and gentlemen.

16) Jason Dent/Rob Browning: When I heard Jason Dent was on this show, I knew he would A) succeed B) discredit it by being there. I was right about both. Browning expends a lot of energy early because he is a testosterone driven imbecile and eats an uppercut shooting. He turtles up and takes way too many punches. He does tell Dana he'll be ready at 135. Scintillating.

EPISODE 4:

17) Nick Osipczak/Mark Miller: Sloppy show from both with Miller gassed after 5 minutes. Osipczak switches stances a lot and gets caught early in the fight, but Miller isn't able to repeat it again when it counts. It looks like Miller even taps in the first to a guillotine. Doesn't matter: His face meets Osipczak's shin and he's asleep in the second.

EPISODE 5:

18) Andre Winner/Santino DeFranco: Lots of low kicks. DeFranco's shots are stuffed, Winner throws the jab, even if its the cardinal mistake of one at a time. DeFranco finally pulls guard, Winner defends the armbar, and he hurts DeFranco with a single right hand. You think a dude who's brain needed surgery might have some chin issues? At least they gave Barrera a steel plate.

19) Demarcus Johnson/Dean Amasinger: Amasinger knows he is overmatched, but throws the low kick anyhow. Johnson returns. Amasinger with a bad takedown attempt, Johnson with an epically slow triangle attempt that elicits memories of the second season's heavyweights, and we have a winner.

EPISODE 6:

20) Martin Stapleton/Cameron Dollar: Bad standup by dudes who can't stand, Dollar with a takedown, back control, a body triangle, and a rear naked.

21) James Wilks/Frank Lester: Wilks gets a easy fight after beating Mills. Lester just runs the whole time, but drops Wilks with a left hook. Wilks goes for the leg and that forces Lester back on the defensive. Lester immediately with a takedown after escaping; another leg lock attempt (this one sloppier) also fails by Wilks. Lester then thinks he might have a submission game, but he doesn't. No shock there. Trading! Lester is winning! Wilks pushes him to the cage and then down on the mat. Lester loses teeth. I guess there was a bet about this or something. Wilks is much more intelligent in the second, using the jab to set distance and eventually clinches to put Lester onto the back foot again. Some dirty boxing sets up a takedown, but he lets Lester up. He throws him down again a short time later, goes to mount, and armbars the poor guy.

EPISODE 7:

22) Ross Pearson/Ritchie Whitson: Clinch early on, and Whitson holds his own. Key moment of the fight is a knee to the head on the mat that cuts Whitson: he never really recovers after restarting, and gets taken down and choked out.

EPISODE 8:

23) Jason Dent/Jeff Lawson: Maybe the two best lightweights in the house? How sad. Tenative standup leads to Lawson jumping in, giving the back and rolling for a kneebar. Dent escapes but its basically a sweep with Lawson on top. Dent keeps the guard closed looking to stand. The ref doesn't help: Lawson does just enough, passes to mount (and gets put back in full guard), landing shots here and there. He's tired by the end of the first.

Dent comes forward in round two, and Lawson shoots. He's way slow now though, and Dent is shrugging them off. Dent gets clipped with a few bad low kicks, catches Lawson coming in, and wins with a head and arm choke. Sad.

EPISODE 9:

24) Frank Lester/David Faulkner: Lester is back after someone dropped out. I forget who and don't care. Its slow to start with jabs and low kicks. Then there is trading and trading and more trading and its KOTC level at best. Faulkner eventually loses because he gasses and won't get up for the third. Lester is all beaten up and looks like shit but gets to move on and lose again.

EPISODE 10:

25) Nick Osipczak/Damarques Johnson: The winner for "fight that happened way too early in a guy's career" award for this season. Osipczak was ready to drop after the first round. He showed nothing but heart against a more experienced fighter who looked like he had a modicum of talent, being beaten up the entire last 2 rounds on the mat and standing. The corner should have stopped it. No reason to do this to a kid.

EPISODE 11:

26) Cameron Dollar/Andre Winner: Dollar is swinging early and getting countered huge. He shoots and Winner has none of it. Ends up getting tapped from a topside triangle. Yikes.

27) Jason Dent/Ross Pearson: Pearson is bigger and faster, better standing too. Dent does make a good punching bag and ends up doing so repeatedly in the round. He'll make his comebacks here and there but not much beyond that. Good pace to the fight too. Dent lands but can't hurt Pearson; big problem. Pearson then is able to do what he wants throughout the fight; takedowns, dominating the standup, forcing forwards, taking dominant position, so on, so forth. He wins every round en route to a unanimous decision.

EPISODE 12:

28) James Wilks/Frank Lester: Wilks has to fight Lester AGAIN. Oh jeez. Wilks is more methodical this time around and Lester isn't exactly rushing to engage either. Lester is looking to time Wilks and has pockets of success. His best weapon is the left hook and it happens to be the only thing he throws the whole round. Wilks is circling the right way now away from the hook of Lester and it starts to get ugly as the second progresses. Knees, punches, dirty boxing, eventually Lester drops in the third and the ref stops it.

Fight of the Season: Dent/Pearson

KO Of the Season: Osipczak/Miller

Submission of the Season: Winner/Dollar

Overall: No score. Easily the worst season of Ultimate Fighter yet, right up there with Season 6.

SHOXC (9/20/08)

It occurred to me that I never did put up my reviews of Rumble on The Rock's last three shows on their boxed set. I mention this for no particular reason. Really is unfortunate that I didn't do so. What I will say, however, is that the highs quickly receed. Rumble on The Rock 7 is downright horrid. If I ever find my notes, I would be glad to not rewatch them.

In the meantime, here is a review literally a year in the making. I originally didn't set for a long enough recording time with this event, so I was glad to rerecord it months later, where it sat on my DVR until last month. It was purged, against my will, by the DVR itself in the Great Spanish Language Purge of 2009. But alas, I have notes.

This show was the last ShoXC event ever televised, and eminated from Chumash Casino in California. The planned main event was Bao Quach/Wilson Reis for a 140lb belt that EXC was to promote, but Quach was injured and in steps the KOTC champ at the weight, Abel Cullum. Joining this bout was an array of B-list stars.

1) MATT MAKOWSKI/ERIK APPLE: Apple drops the headset and heads back in. Bless his soul. Makowski beat Nick Serra in an embarassing fight you should never want to see.

Makowski gets the first takedown on a caught kick, but gets swept. Apple attempts a few kimuras and straight armbars inside the guard, which would be more effective if he was outside of it. Makowski does try for some submissions off his back, but doesn't pull off any. All Apple's round. Apple shoots to start the second and Makowski defends with the guillotine. Apple pulls out his head, and prevents a repeat of the prior round by passing to mount, punching until Makowski gives his back, and ending this with that old chestnut of chokes, the rear naked. Erik Apple is....doing something right now. (1)

2) GIVA SANTANA vs. JAMIE JARA: I love Jamie Jara. I love Giva Santana. I will love this fight.

There's tenative standup as Santana is terrible and Jara is terrified of Santana's grappling. Jara lands a punch and Santana shoots and is successful. Jara tries to spin out, but Santana is holding him back, and then gets the mount. Jara gives the back and returns to mount and eats punches before scrambling to his feet. Santana reintroduces Jara to the mat shortly afterwards. Not the finest round for the tattooed one.

The second sees Santana pretend to strike before attempting to clinch. Jara is smart enough not to let himself be pulled into the guard and gets out and back to his feet. He lands shots but instinctively clinches, which is all wrong. Santana drops for the leg, Jara pushes out, and he's back up and striking. Santana, being old, was not prepared to fight more than 5 minutes, and its showing on his face and with his movement. Jara, meanwhile, is old but crazy, and this difference means that he's capable of continuing to scrap. As the round moves on, more punches land for Jara, and he's more willing to clinch with a less effective Santana.

The bell for the final round tones and we're off to the races with Jara giving a lesson in dirty boxing in close and tattooing (ironically) the middle aged Brazilian with punches at distance. Santana is throwing body kicks, which sound better than they are effective. He's shooting and coming up short. Jara might be cut, but its largely superficial. At the end of the round, Jara runs out of gas suddenly and Santana catches a second win, causing him to pursue a striking attack. Jara wins the round on my card and ends up with the split decision. Fans are equally split. (3)

3) MALAPEIT TEAM DIAMOND vs. DAVID DOUGLAS: Douglas is nicknamed Tarzan, speaks in bizarre tones, and trains with the Diaz brothers. Malapeit is Malapeit. I will love this fight.

Douglas rushes Malapeit at the start and grabs a takedown, Malapeit scrambles, and its time to get crazy. Dudes are getting thrown, Douglas is windmilling like its a Strife show, Malapeit is crushing Douglas with right hands and the dude just won't totally die. I won't bother giving play by play because its ridiculous and wild. Malapeit clearly wins the round with kicks and punches and everything imaginable. This trend continues in the second and Douglas looks like he will be stopped with leg kicks as Malapeit is controlling distance and just bombarding him with then. BUT~ Douglas snatches a leg, shoots, moves to mount, and starts bombing away as the round ends. The third has Malapeit throwing a flying knee, Douglas getting a takedown, landing about 300 punches, forcing a stop, and then giving a surreal interview. All out war reminiscent of Rollins/War Machine skillwise, but better (3)

4) CARL SEUMANUTAFA vs. SHANE DEL ROSARIO: Del Rosario is a much loved prospect. The other guy is Samoan and fat.

Samoan guy shoots, throws Del Rosario and then lays on him. Del Rosario mixes it up by trying a submission, but Seumanutafa slams out and escapes to north/south and an armbar attempt. Del Rosario escapes that and rolls the Samoan into full guard, who sweeps and...okay, "positioning battle". Nothing is landed. Seumanutafa wins the first. He tries to shoot a bunch in the second, gets stuffed, eventually is hit as he tries to go for some Superman punch/shot combo and goes down like a sack of shit. Del Rosario wins and is now beating up scrubs in M-1 Challenge. (2)

5) ABEL CULLUM vs. WILSON REIS: When I originally recorded this show, the recording of this fight ended in the second and it looked so awesome. And watching the full version? Not as awesome.

Lemme give you the short version of what happens: Reis wins every round. He takes down Cullum, Cullum is on his back defending submissions and getting hit. He never mounts any sustained offense, and Reis always comes out of scrambles in a better position and always seems to improve his position. Its like that first Noguiera fight with Herring; Herring became everyone's favorite heavyweight because he played defense the whole time and did alright at it. That's what Cullum does here. When in the Dream tourney, his skill level was exposed. Elite fighters don't lose to Hideo Tokoro. Meanwhile, Reis has a similar issue: He was supposed to win that Bellator tourney, and instead gets beat by Joe Soto. Oh well. (3)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Douglas/Malapeit

KO OF THE NIGHT: Douglas/Malapeit

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Apple/Makowski

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 6.5 out of 10. Not as good as I remembered it to be, but there's a middle section of fights here that's damn fun to watch, even if it isn't wildly important.

D&R Rating: 48% (12/25)

Note: That's the new record for one of these shows, and I hate to say it, but its almost nondeserved. Look, lots of good fights are one thing but none of these stand out. Plus, if you had to see the untelevised stuff, it would probably fall to a 20%. But, this is what it is. To that end, I do admit that its the best of the ShoXC shows and way better viewing than some of the recent efforts.

Ring of Combat XX1 (9/12/08)

I have no idea how long ago I watched but I think it was a very, very long time ago. The notebook the review was in? Not touched in months.

Ring of Combat has, by this point, moved to a cage which they seemingly have plopped down on a 20ft ring mat. Still in Jersey. 100% less Gracies that ROC 18.

1) JOSE RODRIGUEZ vs. MARC STEVENS: A welterweight contest between nondescript opposition.

Stevens won all three rounds on my scorecard. Running theme for this bout is that Stevens wants the takedown and Rodriguez wants to be upright. In the first round, Rodriguez manages only a knee, some weak punches, and a guillotine attempt that fails. In the second, he at least manages to go for a leglock that gets him on top for a little while. But even that leads nowhere, and Stevens finishes the round on top in half guard with Rodriguez pinned against the cage. In the final round, Rodriguez has his most effective moments; Stevens is cut but something in a scramble and the distraction is enough time for him to be rocked and Rodriguez to follow him down to the mat with GnP. Stevens survives and ends up on top, once more, inside the full guard before the round is over. (0)

2) ANDREW RIDDLES vs. MIKE STEWART: Names sound like better fighters! But they are not. Middleweight contest.

Stewart pulls off an awesome belly-to-belly early and a suplex late in the round and those are his high points. All he wants to do is clinch and shoot, and Riddles doesn't take long to figure out this pattern. In the second he stuffs a takedown, gets mount, and forces Stewart to give up the back. Riddles is still undefeated in a division where all the wrestlers are old as hell. (1)

3) CHRIS SCHLESINGER vs. NISSIM LEVY: Records? Not good. 180lb catchweight? Ehhh.

Dudes want to wrestle, and once they start, its scramble city. Standing? Neither is any good, but it is established early that Schlesinger really doesn't want to stand with Levy during much of the first. It seems to be a ploy though; he lands a hard couple of knees at the end of the first round and drops Levy early in the second. Levy goes for his own takedown and leaves his neck out for a guillotine. Its a sad night in Little Jerusalem. (0)

4) GREG SOTO vs. DOUG GORDON: I was stoked for this thinking Soto was that dude that beat Reis in Bellator. Nah. 170lbs.

Soto shoots, pushes, and gets a takedown. He does some smashing until he is stood up, and then he does it again. That is the first round. Gordon adjusts his gameplan in the second and decides to not be taken down. A smart move for a man who wants to win. He instead forces Soto to pull guard a couple times. Well, until Soto gets him down with the double again. Gordon lacks the jitz but still tries the guillotine. Smart? Probably not. Soto does more taking down and more light punching on the mat in the third, only stopping to get bucked out of mount briefly by Gordon. Soto wins the UD and is still undefeated a year later. (1)

5) CONSTANTINOS PHILLIPOU vs. BRENDAN BARRETT: Who the fuck are these guys? I dunno. 205.

Costa with the right hand and Barrett is cut. Barrett gets a takedown and is pushing the dude with the greekest name ever all over the place. But the cut is a gusher and the fight is stopped. (0)

6) JOHN HOWARD vs. CHARLIE BRENNEMAN: Howard is still in the UFC somehow. I don't know how, but he is! Brenneman is a nobody.

Brenneman goes for takedowns, Howard tries to stand. This is the fight, in general. Sometimes Brenneman is hurt with stuff and is forced to shoot, as happens in round 1. He takes down Howard a few times in the second round while absorbing little. Howard turns the tables with a slam in the 3rd, but Brenneman turns, is out the backdoor, and takes top control again. Howard goes for subs, doesn't get anything, and Brenneman wins all 3 rounds on my card. Guess what? Howard wins. How is Howard even a mild success in the UFC? (2)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Howard/Brenneman

KO OF THE NIGHT: Barrett/Phillipou?

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Levy/Schlesinger

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 4 out of 10. I remember this event being boring as hell. None of the fighters are that good and apart from the main event being of minor interest, entirely skippable. Like a run of the mill KOTC card from a few years back.

D&R Rating: 13% (4/30)