Real Fighting Championships 7 (11/4/06)

Fightzone TV went way back in time. This I think got screwed up by some sort of time issue too, because there's an educational program on to try and fit the quote. RFC has a fancy ramp. Jay Adams is your announcer, and the event itself is at Sun Dome in Tampa. Oh! Your color man is Stephan Bonnar.

EDIT 3/30/2011: Indeed there was a time issue! And so, I present to you the complete review now, finally. Original post date was 5/12/2010.

Show opens and we have a bunch of chicks from the local strip club and Jay Adams on the entrance ramp while a lot of pyro goes off and a third filled Sun Dome looks on. This show is already amazing.

1) Ralphy Garcia vs. Omar Chebali: Uhh, some lightweights.

FIGHT: Garcia Submissin Rnd 1. Couple guys trade wild punches and then try to trade leg locks. Garcia breaks out of that, moves to mount, and then goes for an armbar. He stretches it and gets it. This fight, honestly, was stupid. (0)

2) Kim Predmore vs. Elizabeth Posener: Posener has an almost 10 lb weight advantage.

FIGHT: Posener TKO Rnd1. Posener drops Predmore with a knee early, mounts, and rains down shots. Ugly. Stopped way too late and it was still only a minute long. (0)

Won't bother doing much more in describing. Neither is a factor. Suffice it to say that Predmore doesn't belong in MMA.

3) Josh Powell vs. Allen Berube: MONSTAH LOBSTAH. Jay Adams gets pushed by the pro wrestling inspired Berube.

FIGHT: Berube Submission Rnd 1. Berube runs at him and throws some bad punches, then grabs his head and drags him down for the guillotine. Powell did nothing. (1)

Berube: Wide punches, wild submission attempt - yeah, not surprised he didn't last in the UFC.

4) Chris Adams vs. Jon Schall: Heavyweights. 4 years later, I've heard of neither. Not a good sign. Adams is all sorts of chunky.

FIGHT: Schall TKO 1. Schall hurts Adams with a punch early and then drubs him. Adams is tapping for like 3 seconds before the ref jumps in to stop the fight. (0)

Schall: Was KOed in next fight, just wild and crazy for the 30 seconds this goes.

5) Chris Holder vs. Chris Manuel: 145lbers. Holder is apparently a top wrestler. Manuel is from ATT.

FIGHT: Manuel Submission Rnd 1. You could see it coming throughout the fight. Holder wanted it down but didn't know how to defend submissions when in top control. An Imes speed triangle attempt finishes the job. (1)

Holder: Holder is throwing around Manuel, and that's impressive, but he's leaving himself so wide open for submissions when he does it. Manuel gets back to his feet after almost armbarring Holder, and while Holder gets the takedown again, his work inside the guard bears no fruit. Manuel ends up taking him down and Holder has no guard.

Manuel: Manuel seemed to have decent work off his back but there was nothing to establish his ability standing. Mixed success since in international level competition.

6) Lew Polley vs. Chris Baten: Polly drops lots of weight to make the 205 limit. Baten doesn't.

FIGHT: Polley Submission Rnd 3. Such an ugly fight to watch. Polley is huge and muscle bound, and its lay and pray for 1 and a half rounds. But he gasses totally and when there's a standup in the second Baten throws a single high kick and lands it to the mush. Polley is a mess and loses the rest of the second round and is nearly finished with a rear naked choke. He almost eats another high kick in the third, but a desperate shot gets down Baten and he ends up with a kimura to finish. (1)

Polley: Strong guy, but technically not very good. At all. Really, he has strength and not much more. Don't want to see him fight ever again. Too bad the world will through the magic of Ultimate Fighter.

Baten: Not a particularly great fighter either. Had the chance to spin out and escape the kimura for about 20 seconds and didn't.

7) Mike Van Meer vs. Carl Greco (Malenko): 185lbs. Van Meer is a fat ass. Carl Malenko was in PRIDE, as you might remember, as well as Battlearts.

FIGHT: Greco Submission Rnd 1. Pathetic effort by Van Meer. (1)

Greco: takes down Van Meer with shocking difficulty, then screws up one armbar attempt only to get another. Terrible to watch.

Van Meer: An insult.

HIGHLIGHTS SHOWN: Briefly shown are victories for Joe Lane, Mike Ortiz, James Austin, Danny Ruiz, and Lucas Code. Also shown? Matt Brown beating Matt Arroyo. Yes, the most relevant fight on this card today wasn't shown. Oops.

8) Chris Mickle vs. James Edson Berto: Mickle actually made it to the WEC for a cup of coffee. Berto is the brother of a much better fighter, as you may know.

FIGHT: Berto Submission Rnd 1. Berto is bigger, gets taken down immediately after a leg kick, then Mickle goes for a leg lock. Berto counters with his own and forces the tapout. (1)

No real perspective I can give. Berto is a sucker for takedowns here and Mickle is still nothing more than a journeyman.

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Manuel/Holder, though that says nothing

KO OF THE NIGHT: Schall/Adams, even if it might not really count

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Berto/Mickle

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 2 out of 10. Not worth going out of your way to see, even if it is short in fast forward.

D&R Rating 10% (4/40)

ART OF FIGHTING 5: 10/23/09

Another show from Florida brought by Fightzone TV. Chris Bateman is being hyped in the main event. Oh boy. Some dude I didn't catch the name of and Seth Petruzelli are announcing. Cage and unified rules in effect.

1) MATT KERSSE vs. JOSH PATCHELL: Lightweights, white guys with shaved heads.

Kersse with a takedown and...this is elemental stuff. Patchell is working a closed guard most of the time and doesn't really do a lot from the bottom, but occasionally goes for some fancy stuff. Patchell does his best to break the closed guard and throw shots or pass. Lousy dirty boxing when Patchell gets this back up and standing. Patchell keeps trying to do weird stuff to get position instead of basic moves, and ends up getting his back taken standing and then rode down. Kersse goes for an armbar without the arm after Patchell turns into mount, and as a result, Patchell survives to the second.

Clinch early and Kersse eventually throws Patchell and goes to side control. Patchell then sweeps Kersse and makes him look stupid for having lost that position. I have to admit - I've waited on watching fights like these because they are terrible. Kersse goes for a kimura from the bottom in guard and sorta sweeps Patchell with it. This forces them back to standing, where Patchell goes for a kimura standing and just gets manhandled down.

Third round kicks off and we're back to the clinch almost instantly. Neither of these guys want to strike. Ugly, boring. The announcers note that Patchell will not win a "grinder". True. It might have been more impressive to hear this 2 minutes into the fight rather than with 2 minutes left. Kersse ends up bulldog choking Patchell and drags him down by the head. He wins. I see nothing in either guy to be excited about. (0)

2) CHRISTIANO SOUZA vs. PEDRO GONZALEZ RUBIO: Rubio is a mercenary. Really. Souza is making his pro debut and from ATT.

Souza has crazy muscle definition. I wonder if ATT guys eat horsemeat? Lots of Thiago Silva esque bouncing around. Same stance too. Dudes trading hooks for entertainment value until Rubio eats a headkick to the back of the skull. He's down and out! But not totally, so Souza keeps battering him until he is limp. I guess a (1) because he's a roided up Brazilian who throws kicks. Those are always popular.

3) RYAN HODGE vs. MARK SERKEZ: Two dudes, one with a mohawk.

Some trading with wild punches and kicks. Really, neither guy is even thinking defense when throwing. Its like they've never been told its possible to get hit while you try to strike. Hodge shoots and takes down Serkez, basically pushes him down, lands shots and goes for the choke. Announcers are all about Serkez defending stuff rather than what he does wrong. They stand up and its bombz throwin' time. Serkez with incredibly wild hooks that don't drop Hodge immediately, so they trade some more. Dana White would love this. It goes on and on and on and Hodge is stopped because of a cut. Maybe in 6-7 years one of these guys can develop into something. (0)

4) RORY SHALLCROSS vs. RAUL AMAYA:

I'm not even paying attention to this anymore. Amaya ends up on top most of the time while Shallcross works rubber guard poorly. Basics! Basics people! Listen to BJ Penn when he tells you to work the basics! Shallcross eventually gets stopped when Amaya mounts him and punches him lots in the 3rd round. After the ref jumps in, Shallcross shows the most amount of energy he's shown all fight. Blah stuff. Amaya is a generic wrestler type I can't be less excited about. (0)

5) SAL FARNETTIEL vs. IMANI LEE: Fat dudes.

With all the grace of watching continents collide, these two men swing. I mean, not even close to being in shape. Sal Farnettiel's knee blows out fro a low kick because he is fat. They try to play this off as a low blow to keep it going, but, wah wah wah. Over in the first. (0)

6) NICOLAE CURY vs. DANNY MCWILLIAMS: This is the co-main event - 4-9 vs. 2-1. Really.

Gives back to the Brazilian right away, but spins into the guard. Then he gets caught in a triangle. (1) I guess for the Brazilian.

7) CHRIS BATEN vs. ROBERT CT TURNER: Some dudes at light heavy.

Baten gets taken down and is mounted early, but is able to fish his way out of hit thanks to the mount being up on his shoulders. Turner still controls the rest of the round by being on top of him and occasionally doing something or other to keep it there. This ends up being the entire fight. (0)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Hodge/Serkez

KO OF THE NIGHT: Hodge/Serkez, I guess?

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Cury/McWilliams

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 2 out of 10. Didn't see anyone really excited about here. Basically a KOTC level show with Souza being the only future star of the bunch.

D&R Rating: 5% (2/35)

Southern Fight League: G-Vegas (3/29/2009)

The sports pack is back on my TV and with it, strange MMA. This is from "Brawl Call With Jay Adams", a 30 minute show that runs on Sun Sports and sometimes on FSN's Southeastern Channel. The event takes place in Greenville, NC and no one you've heard of is on the show. Ben Glaussen (?) and TOMMY TRAUMA SAUER are on the call with Adams. Its an amateur show, so be weary.

1) CASEY JOHNSON vs. JASON RAMOS: Nondescript 170lb fighters. Neither looks physically impressive.

Johnson moves around the ring a lot and throws leg kicks. Ramos follows, cuts off the ring, clinches with Johnson. Johnson then basically puts Ramos in a headlock, throws him, and punches him while in a side headlock. Not very impressive work for either. (0)

2) KEVIN GARCIA vs. BRANDON COBLE: Bantams.

Coble has stiff robot standup. Garcia, the announcers say, is an adept grappler. Then he pulls off a flying armbar for a tapout. Well, holy shit. (1) for the obviously awesome submission. Garcia is 3-0 as an amateur, still not a pro.

3) AMOS COLLINS vs. BLAYNE WRIGHT: Lightweights.

Both have really sloppy groundwork; all sorts of submissions and positions are just powered out of as this hits the mat early. After a stalemate, there's wild striking and Collins gets the takedown. He had previously mounted Wright and been bucked off with stunning ease, but here he works his way from full guard to full mount in short fashion and then forces Wright to turn over and give his neck. (0)

4) JOHN BRYANT vs. SHANE STAPP: Some sort of ridiculous amateur welterweight promotion title is up for grabs. Seriously, fuck this bullshit in MMA. I'm sick of it. Boxing isn't remotely this bad with title belts.

Stapp gets waaaay low; I imagine this is to prevent the shot and takedown? Apparently lowering his center of balance virtually to the floor only meant that it was a shorter distance between his shoulders and the mat when Bryant inevitably places him there. The story of this fight is simple: Stapp goes for the guillotine. When he doesn't get it, he is slammed or punched very hard repeatedly. When he does get it, Bryant taps out. Bryant taps out in round one from the third guillotine attempt. This is fine and dandy, but not a prescription for a title run. He's listed as not having fought since April, which is probably because he's doing smoker shows or something. (0)

5) Antoine Marcel/Zed Mitchell: A 185 lb contest. Mitchell is a big black dude and Marcel is fat.

Mitchell wins in a matter of seconds. He just throws around his opponent in the clinch and KOs him with punches. Embarassing. (0)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Bryant/Stapp

KO OF THE NIGHT: Marcel/Mitchell

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Garcia/Coble

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 3 out of 10. Fastforwarding through the commercials, I can basically watch it during a lunch break with time to make myself food too.

D&R Rating: 4% (1/25)