ReMix World Cup (12/5/2000)

Once, long ago, there was no women's MMA. Or at least, like none other than Becky Levi beating up other ugly women on IFC cards. And then there was this: ReMix World Cup, a one night openweight women's MMA tourney. This is a really great bootleg I have, probably from some US commercial version of the DVD. There's Joshi wrestlers and all sorts of stuff. No idea on the rules, but I guess I'll find out? This was done at the Nippon Budokan, BTW. Apparently this promotion somehow became Smackgirl wikipedia says? OK.

This review was so long in the making. Tom Gentleman sent me the DVD requesting I review it over 2 years ago. I feel bad that it took this long. I hope I am rewarded.

1) Miwako Ishihara vs. Becky Levi: Ishihara does karate. That I can tell. Becky Levi I think is into women or trucking or both and trains with Dan Severn. She is also like twice the size of Ishihara.

FIGHT: Levi Split Decision: A slow motion version of Paul Varelans vs. Cal Worsham. worsham and Ishihara even punch the same way when presented with a tired version of their monstrous foe. Matter of fact, I started watching Barreto/Varelans while this was on my TV using youtube because, hey, that was an awesome thing when that happened. In case you've never seen that -

CARLOS BARRETO vs. PAUL VARELANS: From Brazil Vale Tudo Open 1997. Varelans tells us he is ready to rock and roll. Barreto just wants us to know that we're in for a great fight. They lock up in center ring almost immediately and Barreto gets a trip takedown on Varelans. The camera work is dreadful as it misses this and instead zooms in on some random dude on the crowd from through the cage before panning down to where the guys are on the mat. Barreto proceeds to mount and smash Varelans with punches until the ref stops it. Easy work for Barreto, who was awesome once.

Oh. Wait. This is a review of another fight. So anyways, back to Levi/other person. The Japanese fighter ends up being less tired than Becky Levi and actually begins to push back and put her in the corner in the end of the second round. Makes for a close but not wholly compelling fight. Levi wins a split decision as the judges apparently appreciate her Scott Ferozzoesque gameplan. (2)

2) Floor Holman vs. Junko Yagi: I have no idea who these girls are. Yagi has fancy yellow clothes with Junko across the ass. Junko in the trunk, if you will. Apparently Junko is a pro wrestler sez the internet.

FIGHT: Yagy TKO Rnd 2. Yagi punches like a girl. I know, I know. She fucking does, OK? I'm sorry. Somehow she bloodies Holman's nose with the hammerfist looking strikes, and Holman is obviously a kickboxer type given that she is dutch and can throw a body kick. In the second she does an awesome judo throw to Holman and is in side control and they stand them after like 5 seconds? Uhhh. I guess there's a limit to mat work. I think I read about that. The big issue in the fight is that Holman's wrist gets hurt punching in round 1. She like turns away and cringes and screams, but the ref allows the fight to be paused and continue. Huh? In the second it gives way again and this time he stops it. (0)

3) Erin Toughill vs. Rodina Irina: Toughill is batshit crazy and fighting some Russian Judoka that is like 50 lbs heavier than her.

FIGHT: Toughill Split Decision. Huh? Irina takes her down and works for subs THE ENTIRE FIGHT. Toughill basically doesn't do anything, but wins. Why? I have no idea. The 20 second max for ground work keeps Irina from winning. Too bad, honestly. (2)

4) Svetlana Goundarenko vs. Kyoko Inoue: Goundarenko is the easy favorite coming in because she is HUGE. Inoue is a big Joshi wrestler AND WEARING FACE PAINT, and still half the size.

FIGHT: Goundarenko Submission Rnd 1: The enormous russian MAULS Inoue, who resorts to running the ropes to get leverage but is generally tossed around and suplexed and shit. Some sort of warning is given to her for beating the shit out of this girl? Then Inoue shoots a single and gets rolled on top of because when Goundarenko lays around the house, bitch lays around the house. SHOOT URANGE from Goundarenko. She is screaming BECAUSE INOUE IS BITING HER. Yellow card given. Another takedown from Goundarenko and she wins with a side headlock/neck crank. That was absolutely the greatest thing I've seen in forever. (2)

5) Mika Harigai vs. Marloes Coenen: This is also a fight? Coenen is STILL relevant. Hell, wait, she's the SF 135lb champ, isn't she?

FIGHT: Coenen Submission Rnd 1. Complete domination. Harigai is dropped with punches early, Coenen clearly can't kick a downed foe because she wants to and stops herself, then runs around back and gets the rear naked choke. 33 seconds. (4)

6) Bambi Beroncello vs. Megumi Yabushita: Another Joshi star facing a random American.

FIGHT: Yabushita Submission Rnd 1. BACKDROP DRIVAHHHHHHH. Okay it wasn't but it was some crazy fucking slam as Beroncello goes over the head of Yabushita and then Yabushita puts her body into it to put her on the mat. After some uncomfortable standup, Yabushita goes for the double and immediately transitions into an armbar. Slick! (1)

7) Becky Levi vs. Junko Yagi: Becky Levi continues her march to assumed glory. Well, maybe not.

FIGHT: Levi Unanimous Decision. Yagi's sloppy striking isn't so effective against a much bigger foe looking to clinch and play her game. Leg trips? Not working on Becky Levi. Female Ferrozzo, meanwhile, plies her trade of dirty boxing and knees well. Levi is so arm weary at the end of this.

(2)

8) Svetlana Goundarenko vs. Erin Toughill: Oh my god. Yes. YES. YESSSSSSSS.

FIGHT: Goundarenko Submission Rnd 1. Another fight where Goundarenko wins with side head lock after throwing around Toughill and mauling her like a bear. She tries to suffocate Toughill with a standing side headlock using her fat. (3)

9) Marloes Coenen vs. Becky Levi: Weird way to do the tourney, but OK. I guess if you are bigger, you have to fight more.

FIGHT: Coenen Submission Rnd 1. Coenen is dominating the fight with kickboxing, then clinches with Levi. Why play that game, I mean HOLY SHIT SHE JUST THREW A FLYING ARMBAR AND LEVI VERBALLY SUBMITTED. (4)

10) Svetlana Goundarenko vs. Megumi Yabushita: I can't even speak.

FIGHT: Yabushita Unanimous Decision. Why break this fight down or try to do play by play? What is the point? Goundarenko often blocks takedowns with these pancake sprawls, but sometimes Yabushita like wriggles out of the rolls and then goes for heel hooks and punches and it is an incredible thing. Maybe the greatest thing. The Hackney/Yarborough of women's MMA. Maybe even better than Yarborough/Hackney. (3)

After the bout, we get lots of backstage stuff for the next fight. Apparently it is a super fight of some sort. Who is this?

11) Atsuko Sakuraba vs. Tatiana Kovochinova: No idea who either is. Tatiana says something about being Russian in the prefight hype video.

FIGHT: Kovochinova Submission Rnd 1. Sakuraba tries to outlast an armbar that Kovochinova puts on her by going the 20 seconds but cannot continue. Apparently Sakuraba is a TV personality who came to fight against a multitime Russian Judo champ. I think she still does color for stuff like K-1 Dynamite though. She looks really familiar. *INSERT RACIST STATEMENT HERE* (1)

12) Marloes Coenen vs. Megumi Yabushita: A worthy main event and final.

FIGHT: Coenen Unanimous Decision. Coenen is willing to work wherever and can. Yabushita, meanwhile, only really has one place she can do anything, which is the mat. She goes for takedowns and gets them with some frequency, but can't do anything inside of 20 seconds. Coenen also is generally more successful with submission attempts, but again; only 20 seconds means not enough time to really pull stuff off. (4)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Yabushita/Goundarenko

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Kovochinova/Sakuraba

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 7 out of 10. Look, this is all about the fat woman fights. And Coenen winning by flying armbar. Nothing else on the show is not that good. But my god, the fat woman fights. Epic.

D&R Rating: 50% (30/60)