Ring of Combat XIX (5/9/2008)

More Ring of Combat on GoFightLive. Once more, we're denied one of the relevant fights as Nick Catone vs. Mitch Whitsel for some title strap isn't shown. Production is two dudes with DV cams and streaming ability standing on the same side of the ring (set on a stage?) and no announcers. The ring isn't miced even.

EDIT: Funny thing today - I also reviewed a NAAFS show I had already reviewed. A first! So if you think you saw something earlier, you did. And now it is gone and this is in it's place.

1) Eddie Fyvie vs. Anthony Morrison: Morrison was in the WEC very briefly. Fyvie never really made it that far.

FIGHT: Fyvie Submission Rnd 1. (1)

Fyvie: Fyvie goes to buttscoot the second Morrison gets even a little close to him. Morrison though falls for it and ends up inside the active guard of a decent BJJ artist. Fyvie nearly locks up a triangle with not much of a setup, and while Morrison shrugs it off and powers through once, a second attempt later in the round is successful at a tapout.

Morrison: Strong guy who's standup was way too dangerous for Fyvie to consider engaging with for even a split second, but was also nowhere near enough of a grappler to take advantage of what is traditionally a dominant position.

2) Bill Scott vs. Joe Diamond: Two guys at light heavyweight, but well under the 205lb weight.

FIGHT: Scott Submission Rnd 2. Both guys come at each other so crouched over, you can tell they expect to grapple and not trade at all. Seriously, one uppercut and this show is over. (0)

Diamond: Diamond is the bigger guy and gets takedowns and whatnot for the most part in this fight, and wins the first round pretty comprehensively. But he leaves his head and arm out pretty often and Scott takes advantage of that.

Scott: Scott is a smaller, not terribly skilled but competent BJJ artist and wrestler who is overpowered by a bigger man but makes up for it with better technique, forcing an armbar submission in the first round. He has a few other moments - briefly resisting a takedown of Diamond in the first and almost reversing position. There's also a near sweep with a triangle attempt in the second before the submission that ends the fight.

3) Anthony Vetro vs. Chris Schlesinger: Weight max here is 198lbs? Both are lumpy still.

FIGHT: Schlesinger Submission Rnd 2. (0)

Vetro: Pudgy. Can defend the takedown for a couple minutes against a smaller man.

Schlesinger: Master of the wild right hand lead/shot into clinch against the ropes. He spent most of the first round there. Maybe 3 minutes worth, come to think of it. And so it was the small victory of him going to a single while pushing the man in the corner, then dropping to trip the other ankle and get the man down that brought me joy. He then rolled very loosely for some submissions he didn't get like a RNC and an armbar and the round ended. In the second he shoots right away again, but gets a big takedown and Vetro turns and gives the neck in little time.

4) Mike Medrano vs. Anthony LaDonna: Welterweight division. LaDonna is a passable fighter.

FIGHT: Medrano TKO Rnd 2. (0)

Medrano: Medrano looks a lot like Matt Serra. A lot. And he hits like him too, as can be judged with LaDonna being out cold after a single right hand to the head. He's a strong fireplug of a guy with a propensity to fire hooks and move linearly. That's like, I dunno, a lot of guys. Not a real BJJ "artist" so to speak. If he is, he's barebones into control and high percentage stuff.

LaDonna: Made the mistake of trading with Medrano when it didn't really serve his purposes and gets laid out with a right hook. During the fight he generally ends up underneath the stronger Medrano but is skillful enough to avoid getting hit too hard or anything like that.

5) Dave Branch vs. Alexis Aquino: Interesting middleweight bout with guys who are real prospects. Well, Aquino was. He's soft around the belly in this fight.

FIGHT: Branch TKO Rnd 1. Lots of feeling out here that turns out to be more uncomfortable standup than anything else. Both guys want to grapple, and their skills are negating each other. Branch eventually ends up closing the distance, getting underhooks, elevating and slamming Aquino, then moves to full mount to pound him out. And pound him out he does. (1)

6) Dom Stanco vs. Marc Berrocal: 175 lbs?

FIGHT: Stanco TKO Rnd 2. Berrocal had previously been seen getting run over at ROC 18 and this isn't that much different. To save myself writing more than I need to, Berrocal has some iota of talent. He escapes a RNC and a straight armbar that most would have tapped too. But he is in those positions because he's not a particularly great grappler, he lacks the core strength against a solid, well built wrestler like Stanco to get him down, and on the occasions he defends something and gets on top afterwards, he either doesn't have time to make anything of it or gets swept. Stanco keeps him grounded to the mat and pounds him out with punches in the second. (0)

7) Douglas Gordon vs. Levon Maynard: Journeymen locking horns. Both dudes are ripped physically.

FIGHT: Gordon TKO Rnd 1. In the early part of the round, Gordon takes down Maynard after catching a body kick in what looks to be a primarily standup fight. And that suspicion is affirmed as Gordon doesn't really do a whole lot with the top position. Certainly he created the idea in Maynard's mind that the takedown was a real possibility once the fight was stood back to the feet, and that probably played on his mind as, later on, Maynard ducked down into a clinch with Gordon and instead ended up eating a right hand to the temple and another right hand uppercut after it that dropped him and ended the fight. (0)

8) Ricardo Romero vs. Constantinos Philippou: Interesting fight! Nontitle bout for Romero's light heavyweight title. Romero comes in looking soft.

FIGHT: Romero Split Decision. (2)

Romero: Honestly, I came into this fight with no expectations, and I guess I have to say that anyone who picked Philipou to win is an idiot. Romero consistently got positions and takedowns throughout the bout, even opened the fight up with a slam. I wasn't that impressed with his finishing technique, but I suppose he has won 6 subsequent fights inside the distance. Didn't seem to like the mount at all - really preferred and chased after side control.

Philippou: Wanted to box, didn't want to grapple so much. Unfortunately then for him, he spent most of the fight on his back trying to defend kimuras and the like. I'm willing to entertaing the largely kickboxing based first round to Philippou because he was outworking Romero. Romero does strike like he's Frankenstein after all. And also important is the fact that he's really a middleweight and settled at 185 later in his career. I guess you can ask what the loss in the TUF opening round for season 11 meant when he got tapped by Joseph Henle. I'm not sure I put a lot of stock in that being terrible for him. It was so early in his career.

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Phillippou/Romero

KO OF THE NIGHT: Gordon/Maynard

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Fyvie/Morrison

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 5 out of 10. Quality issues that didn't bother me regarding production aside and the lack of the actual main event, this is a not so bad show in the great scheme of things. Finishes? Sure. Decision with quality fighters? Yes, actually. I liked not hearing terrible announcers and PBP men.

D&R Rating: 10% (4/40)

Ring of Combat XVII (11/30/07)

This was originally televised on HDNet and is somewhat notable for a fight of future UFC contenders. Interestingly, the event listing on GoFightLive is missing that fight. Great. Kenny Rice and none other than JEFF BLATNICK are on the mics. What sucks most about this show? The two good fights (Jim Miller/Chris Ligouri & Dan Miller/John Howard) aren't on GFL.

1) Nick Catone vs. Ben Knight: Catone was on TUF and still has a contract, so he can't be THAT bad.

FIGHT: Catone TKO Rnd 1. Catone rushes towards Knight to start with and doesn't even duck for a double. He eventually puts him on his back in side control with a brute force takedown and smashes him out with elbows. Sorta impressive? (1)

2) Marc Stevens vs. Alexis Aquino: Kinda interesting fight with a TUF fighter from season 12.

FIGHT: Aquino TKO Rnd 2. (1)

Aquino: Goes after a soft Stevens and wants the takedown. Stevens lands a nice knee in the clinch, but aside from that, Aquino is never really in any trouble. In the second round Aquino gets down Stevens, takes the back, flattens out Stevens, and pounds him out.

Stevens: Can sorta strike, which if you watched TUF you know. Can't grapple worth shit, which if you watched TUF, you know.

3) Richard Boine vs. Douglas Gordon: Don't know these dudes. Welterweights.

FIGHT: Gordon Submission Rnd 1. Gordon and Boine lock up early, Gordon gets a takedown, and then ends up dominating the fight there. He takes dominant position, forces Gordon to give up the back, and rides him for awhile throwing punches and eventually finishing by rear naked choke. (0)

4) Charlie Brenneman vs. Marc Berrocal: Welterweight tournament final thing for a belt.

FIGHT: Brenneman TKO Rnd 2. Just a beating. Brutal to watch, actually. Brenneman gets Berrocal down in both rounds from the very beginning and beats him down with GNP. Sure, it takes like 9 minutes to finally force a stoppage, and Berrocal does attempt to get up, shrimp, etc during the fight, but man he gets shellacked. Brenneman proves to be adequate with takedowns and punching people at his own pace. (2)

5) Lance Everson vs. Mark Massenzio: Middleweight tournament final and some sort of belt on the line. Massenzio got to the UFC.

FIGHT: Massenzio Submission Rnd 1. Massenzio asserts early his superior strength with a takedown and while Everson is able to fight his way up, his own takedown attempt falls way short and Massenzio ends up controlling the standup as well against a tenative opponent. Massenzio hurts Everson with a punch, forces the fight to a clinch, then gets a takedown. In the midst of that, Everson tries to escape and stand and ends up in a guillotine. Even with the arm in, Massenzio forces a tap. (1)

6) Gregor Gracie vs. Eric Henry: RANDOM GRACIE~

FIGHT: Gracie Submission Rnd 2. Henry is a karate guy with a funny stance and he's not a very good wrestler. Gracie shoots immediately and gets a takedown, and nearly gets an armbar in the first, but Henry breaks out. Still, Gracie runs pretty much the whole round even standing. In round two, Gracie is thrown to the side during a takedown attempt but gets it eventually and eventually moves to side control and wins with a kimura. (0)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Gracie/Henry

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Gracie/Henry

KO OF THE NIGHT: Catone/Knight

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 3 out of 10. Some prospects with easy wins but the fights I want to see aren't online and apparently no one is even selling a bootleg of this event. Awful.

D&R Rating: 17% (5/30)

Ring of Combat XIII (3/16/07)

Back to Ring of Combat as I continue that sort of retrospective series. Hey, its not the only one coming. Big issue with this show on Gofightlive? No sound. Looks like 4 minute rounds with IFL style rules.

1) George Sullivan vs. Dave Porter: Weight classes and stuff? Yeah, no idea.

FIGHT: Sullivan TKO Rnd 1. (0) Porter has a very karate influenced stance, but this fight goes to the ground early anyhow. He is on top, actually, but Sullivan sweeps him with a kimura attempt and ends up inside the guard. From there he just grabs the head, pushes down to create separation, and lands punches until Porter can't take it anymore.

2) Seth Tiringer vs. Anthony LaDonna: Who?

FIGHT: LaDonna Unanimous Decision. (0) Two men attempting to do very similar things, its just that one of the two does more and does more well. The big keys in this fight:

A: LaDonna has a guillotine attempt in the first round and Tiringer uses his strength to stand up and hold LaDonna while he does it. And he shakes LaDonna. Problem is that he resorted to small joint manipulation of the right thumb to do it. He loses a point. Basically doomed to a draw at best.

B: LaDonna shows an ability to both pass the guard and sweep from the bottom with an armbar attempt/omaplata transition. When Tiringer gets down there, he's tied up and a standup comes swiftly.

3) Marc Stevens vs. Landon Showalter: Middleweight semifinal fight as part of an ROC tournament. Stevens is on this season of TUF.

FIGHT: Stevens TKO Rnd 1. Stevens hurls Showalter to the mat to start and I have a sense of dread. He spends most of the round on top, and when they're separated to stand, he gets right back to business with a takedown and control. Showalter goes for an armbar very late in the round but Stevens escapes, lands some punches, and Showalter scrambles to his feet only to eat more punches and get stopped while getting ready to fall down in the corner. (1)

4) Jason House vs. Erick Tavares: Tavares is from Brazil, House from the US. Both aren't guys you are likely to recognize, but this was part of a middleweight tournament for ROC.

FIGHT: House TKO Rnd 2. Tavares is a terrible, terrible striker. He's an adequate wrestler who might be overly reliant on being a big middleweight, and he's swept and generally nullified on the mat even when on top. But standing, he doesn't even try to check any of House's kicks. He is getting chopped down from the start to the end. House drops Tavares' hands with all those leg kicks and eventually drops him with a series of punches, forcing a ref stop. (0)

5) Colin O'Rourke vs. Todd Moore: And now time for a welterweight tournament. These guys? don't know them at all.

FIGHT: Moore wins by stoppage. Doesn't matter because the video doesn't work.

6) Phillipe Nover vs. Jay Coleman: Coleman beat a young Mike Massenzio. Nover was supposed to be the next Anderson Silva and didn't really pan out. Now he is panning for change. He enters here with a samurai sword.

FIGHT: Nover Submission Rnd 1. If I had seen this before TUF, I would have bet everything on Escudero. Nover is a terrible wrestler here and now, and while he won with a kimura, it was from his back while Coleman was in half guard apparently dumbfounded as to how to not get submitted like he was Giant Silva. It was actually sorta embarrassing and sad. (1)

7) Ian Loveland vs. Richard Boine: Loveland is a Team Quest product I'm familiar with from Sportfight and IFL. Boine is a Tiger Schulman product I saw fight Joe Bentz in his debut. This, his third pro bout, is for the ROC Welterweight Title. DOIN IT RIGHT.

FIGHT: Loveland Submission Rnd 1. Boine rushes to clinch under a Loveland high kick at the start and gets put on his back for his trouble. He balls up and tries to go for a single, but this is a TQ guy. What is he thinking? He puts his neck into a guillotine and taps 1:22 in. (0)

8) Jay Estrada vs. James "Binky" Jones: Jones I saw on an EXC show years ago and will never forget the name of. Gofightlive couldn't tell the difference between Jay Estrada and Jason "Big Six" Estrada, the former US 2000 Olympian boxer. And actually, it seems that the video doesn't even work. So it doesn't matter. Jones won a decision, I guess?

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: The one with Nover

KO OF THE NIGHT: Pick one at random

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Loveland/Boine because I don't feel like searching

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 1.5 out of 10. Its tough to separate this from what I was able to watch because, hey, I'm missing at least two fights and the commentary and sound. So, yeah. Do you need to see this? No. Do you want to see Nover flop around on the mat and Marc Stevens wrestle a little? No, but I guess if you want to you can. You might want to at some point, right? Whereas the rest of this is irrelevant.

D&R Rating: 5% (2/40) I'm rating it against what I should have seen, yeah. Too bad for them.

NAAFS Cage Fighting (11/15/2010)

No idea what the original airdate was. Was this it? Maybe. These fights were recorded on 12/5/2009 at NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS~.

1) Jason Butcher vs. Dane Bonningson: Butcher is a tattoo artist. Bonningson I had seen in his prior fight in this tournament. Since this is the finals of the light heavyweight amateur tournament, I am going to assume he wins.

FIGHT: Bonningson TKO Rnd 1. Bonningson lands a looping overhand right over the top of Butcher's low guard and drops him, forcing the stoppage like 10 seconds in. 14 seconds officially. (0)

2) Marie Colangelo vs. Jessica Eye: NATIONAL AMATEUR WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP! yells the announcer. More Jessica Eye! Will I be sold this time?

FIGHT: Eye Unanimous Decision. Man, it is clear that these girls fighting Eye are just overpowered. All of them. Colangelo comes at her, clinches, then gets pushed into the cage and put in a guillotine attempt of sorts before eventually being pushed down and put in terrible positions. She survives the first and ends up immediately on the defensive practically running from Eye. She goes for a single in the second in desperation and just crumbles and ends up on the bottom. Same sort of domination continues in the third. (0)

3) Allan Weickert vs. Chris Lozano: Weickert beat Sean Salmon to win some sort of strap while Lozano was a generally unknown prospect here.

FIGHT: Lozano TKO Rnd 1. Lozano wins after throwing a lead left hook and following it up with a short inside uppercut that drops Weickert. Before that, Weickert tried to drag him down to the mat and do something there, but couldn't get it done. Standing, Lozano was far superior. (2)

OVERALL FOR THE SHOW: 4 out of 10. So much of the show is taken up by the women's bout, which while not terrible is not that good either. Its basically a one sided fight. Lozano wins in an early part of his career, and he's a legitimate prospect. The other fight is a throwaway historically.

NAAFS Cage Fighting (10/31/2010)

Time to catch back up on NAAFS, isn't it? Argh. More fights from Eve of Destruction.

1) Lettia Suchevich vs. Shawna Browne: Lettia is 100lbs and has a ton of tats. Browne is 103. Am I really watching hayweight women's MMA?

FIGHT: Suchevich Unanimous Decision. "Not the most technical fight you'll ever see" say the announcers. That's an understatement. Suchevich has the only tangible ground work seen out of the two in round two, and otherwise its all bad standup. (0)

VIDEO PROMO~ for the following bout.

2) Jessica Eye vs. Marissa Caldwell: Main event of the evening. Eye demolished some random girl on an NAAFS fight card I saw in the past. OH! Super special guest on the mic - Tara LaRosa! Really!

FIGHT: Eye Unanimous Decision. Jessica isn't just the more physically more attractive fighter. She's the technically better fighter in every single way. While Caldwell's braids get opened up, her face bruised, and lip and nose bleeding, Jessica dominates the feet with her striking and also takes down Caldwell at will. I will say that Eye's kicks and punches are kinda slow, not much snap behind them. But this is women's MMA and so what. (0)

OVERALL FOR THE SHOW: 3 out of 10. Not that great a show to watch. Eye might be a fighter to watch in the women's MMA scene but with the lack of talent there and the random nature of matchmaking, who knows?

ReMix World Cup (12/5/2000)

Once, long ago, there was no women's MMA. Or at least, like none other than Becky Levi beating up other ugly women on IFC cards. And then there was this: ReMix World Cup, a one night openweight women's MMA tourney. This is a really great bootleg I have, probably from some US commercial version of the DVD. There's Joshi wrestlers and all sorts of stuff. No idea on the rules, but I guess I'll find out? This was done at the Nippon Budokan, BTW. Apparently this promotion somehow became Smackgirl wikipedia says? OK.

This review was so long in the making. Tom Gentleman sent me the DVD requesting I review it over 2 years ago. I feel bad that it took this long. I hope I am rewarded.

1) Miwako Ishihara vs. Becky Levi: Ishihara does karate. That I can tell. Becky Levi I think is into women or trucking or both and trains with Dan Severn. She is also like twice the size of Ishihara.

FIGHT: Levi Split Decision: A slow motion version of Paul Varelans vs. Cal Worsham. worsham and Ishihara even punch the same way when presented with a tired version of their monstrous foe. Matter of fact, I started watching Barreto/Varelans while this was on my TV using youtube because, hey, that was an awesome thing when that happened. In case you've never seen that -

CARLOS BARRETO vs. PAUL VARELANS: From Brazil Vale Tudo Open 1997. Varelans tells us he is ready to rock and roll. Barreto just wants us to know that we're in for a great fight. They lock up in center ring almost immediately and Barreto gets a trip takedown on Varelans. The camera work is dreadful as it misses this and instead zooms in on some random dude on the crowd from through the cage before panning down to where the guys are on the mat. Barreto proceeds to mount and smash Varelans with punches until the ref stops it. Easy work for Barreto, who was awesome once.

Oh. Wait. This is a review of another fight. So anyways, back to Levi/other person. The Japanese fighter ends up being less tired than Becky Levi and actually begins to push back and put her in the corner in the end of the second round. Makes for a close but not wholly compelling fight. Levi wins a split decision as the judges apparently appreciate her Scott Ferozzoesque gameplan. (2)

2) Floor Holman vs. Junko Yagi: I have no idea who these girls are. Yagi has fancy yellow clothes with Junko across the ass. Junko in the trunk, if you will. Apparently Junko is a pro wrestler sez the internet.

FIGHT: Yagy TKO Rnd 2. Yagi punches like a girl. I know, I know. She fucking does, OK? I'm sorry. Somehow she bloodies Holman's nose with the hammerfist looking strikes, and Holman is obviously a kickboxer type given that she is dutch and can throw a body kick. In the second she does an awesome judo throw to Holman and is in side control and they stand them after like 5 seconds? Uhhh. I guess there's a limit to mat work. I think I read about that. The big issue in the fight is that Holman's wrist gets hurt punching in round 1. She like turns away and cringes and screams, but the ref allows the fight to be paused and continue. Huh? In the second it gives way again and this time he stops it. (0)

3) Erin Toughill vs. Rodina Irina: Toughill is batshit crazy and fighting some Russian Judoka that is like 50 lbs heavier than her.

FIGHT: Toughill Split Decision. Huh? Irina takes her down and works for subs THE ENTIRE FIGHT. Toughill basically doesn't do anything, but wins. Why? I have no idea. The 20 second max for ground work keeps Irina from winning. Too bad, honestly. (2)

4) Svetlana Goundarenko vs. Kyoko Inoue: Goundarenko is the easy favorite coming in because she is HUGE. Inoue is a big Joshi wrestler AND WEARING FACE PAINT, and still half the size.

FIGHT: Goundarenko Submission Rnd 1: The enormous russian MAULS Inoue, who resorts to running the ropes to get leverage but is generally tossed around and suplexed and shit. Some sort of warning is given to her for beating the shit out of this girl? Then Inoue shoots a single and gets rolled on top of because when Goundarenko lays around the house, bitch lays around the house. SHOOT URANGE from Goundarenko. She is screaming BECAUSE INOUE IS BITING HER. Yellow card given. Another takedown from Goundarenko and she wins with a side headlock/neck crank. That was absolutely the greatest thing I've seen in forever. (2)

5) Mika Harigai vs. Marloes Coenen: This is also a fight? Coenen is STILL relevant. Hell, wait, she's the SF 135lb champ, isn't she?

FIGHT: Coenen Submission Rnd 1. Complete domination. Harigai is dropped with punches early, Coenen clearly can't kick a downed foe because she wants to and stops herself, then runs around back and gets the rear naked choke. 33 seconds. (4)

6) Bambi Beroncello vs. Megumi Yabushita: Another Joshi star facing a random American.

FIGHT: Yabushita Submission Rnd 1. BACKDROP DRIVAHHHHHHH. Okay it wasn't but it was some crazy fucking slam as Beroncello goes over the head of Yabushita and then Yabushita puts her body into it to put her on the mat. After some uncomfortable standup, Yabushita goes for the double and immediately transitions into an armbar. Slick! (1)

7) Becky Levi vs. Junko Yagi: Becky Levi continues her march to assumed glory. Well, maybe not.

FIGHT: Levi Unanimous Decision. Yagi's sloppy striking isn't so effective against a much bigger foe looking to clinch and play her game. Leg trips? Not working on Becky Levi. Female Ferrozzo, meanwhile, plies her trade of dirty boxing and knees well. Levi is so arm weary at the end of this.

(2)

8) Svetlana Goundarenko vs. Erin Toughill: Oh my god. Yes. YES. YESSSSSSSS.

FIGHT: Goundarenko Submission Rnd 1. Another fight where Goundarenko wins with side head lock after throwing around Toughill and mauling her like a bear. She tries to suffocate Toughill with a standing side headlock using her fat. (3)

9) Marloes Coenen vs. Becky Levi: Weird way to do the tourney, but OK. I guess if you are bigger, you have to fight more.

FIGHT: Coenen Submission Rnd 1. Coenen is dominating the fight with kickboxing, then clinches with Levi. Why play that game, I mean HOLY SHIT SHE JUST THREW A FLYING ARMBAR AND LEVI VERBALLY SUBMITTED. (4)

10) Svetlana Goundarenko vs. Megumi Yabushita: I can't even speak.

FIGHT: Yabushita Unanimous Decision. Why break this fight down or try to do play by play? What is the point? Goundarenko often blocks takedowns with these pancake sprawls, but sometimes Yabushita like wriggles out of the rolls and then goes for heel hooks and punches and it is an incredible thing. Maybe the greatest thing. The Hackney/Yarborough of women's MMA. Maybe even better than Yarborough/Hackney. (3)

After the bout, we get lots of backstage stuff for the next fight. Apparently it is a super fight of some sort. Who is this?

11) Atsuko Sakuraba vs. Tatiana Kovochinova: No idea who either is. Tatiana says something about being Russian in the prefight hype video.

FIGHT: Kovochinova Submission Rnd 1. Sakuraba tries to outlast an armbar that Kovochinova puts on her by going the 20 seconds but cannot continue. Apparently Sakuraba is a TV personality who came to fight against a multitime Russian Judo champ. I think she still does color for stuff like K-1 Dynamite though. She looks really familiar. *INSERT RACIST STATEMENT HERE* (1)

12) Marloes Coenen vs. Megumi Yabushita: A worthy main event and final.

FIGHT: Coenen Unanimous Decision. Coenen is willing to work wherever and can. Yabushita, meanwhile, only really has one place she can do anything, which is the mat. She goes for takedowns and gets them with some frequency, but can't do anything inside of 20 seconds. Coenen also is generally more successful with submission attempts, but again; only 20 seconds means not enough time to really pull stuff off. (4)

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Yabushita/Goundarenko

SUBMISSION OF THE NIGHT: Kovochinova/Sakuraba

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 7 out of 10. Look, this is all about the fat woman fights. And Coenen winning by flying armbar. Nothing else on the show is not that good. But my god, the fat woman fights. Epic.

D&R Rating: 50% (30/60)

Tuff-N-Uff Fights: Rags Stags (5/30/2010)

Dave Farra and John Morgan are announcing for this night of action from the Orleans Hotel Casino just off the Vegas Strip. Its basically an amateur card.

1) Justin Bonner vs. Damian Jackson: 170lbers. Jackson making his pro debut. 2 minute rounds in Nevada.

FIGHT: Jackson TKO Rnd 2. Furious pace to start and Bonner eats a front kick to the balls. After a break, back to wild swinging. In the second, Bonner ends up eating a high kick and he goes down. Jackson follows up and forces the stoppage.

2) Ashley Cummins vs. Gabriella Lakoczky: If Lakoczky is any good she's gonna be some sort of sex symbol in MMA with her mohawk and Swedish background. From Gothenburg, no less. She's also 12 years older than her opponent but trains with Wanderlei. She is like some merger of Wendy O Williams and Dimitry Wanderlei. 3X3 because its for a championship.

FIGHT: Cummins Unanimous Decision. No doubt whatsoever on the cards. Cummins takes down Lakoczky in every round and threatens with submissions from the mount, then retakes mount, and screws up again and retakes mount. Etc etc. On and on.

3) Alex Brooks vs. Kalino Yap: .500 guys. Lightweights.

FIGHT: Yap Unanimous Decision. Brooks is incredibly rangy - long, lean, but muscular. a 6' 155lb fighter generally is those things. Yap is amart enough to realize that trading with such an individual puts him at great disadvantage, so he consistently looks for takedowns. Brooks is a sucker for them too but does a good job of reversing position and punching. It doesn't matter though - while Brooks clearly wins the 3rd, the takedowns and top control from Yap wins the fight.

4) Rene Flores vs. Jace Crawford: Flores is really soft. Still like 145 or something like that.

FIGHT: Crawford TKO Rnd 1. Crawford uncomfortably stands with Flores, cuts him with a headbutt as they go to clinch, and then ends up taking him down and smashing him. Afterwards he paces around looking very hard. Whatever. You beat a guy who was probably 3 inches shorter than you and chubby at MMA tinyweight. You aren't some calculating killer. Hate dudes like that.

5) Tommy Gavin vs. Lee Henry Lilly: Slightly bigger dudes. 185?

FIGHT: Gavin TKO Rnd 1. BOMBZ AWAY. Lilly ends up getting dropped and taken out.

6) Autumn Richardson vs. Emily Peters-Kagen: 1-0 MMA amateur women fighter, forget the weight, don't care.

FIGHT: Peters-Kagen TKO Rnd 1. She lands a right hand that busts Richardson's nose and wins the fight in like 23 seconds as the ref separates them, sends over her opponent to the corner and they won't let it go on.

7) Barry Prevost vs. Zack Grossman: 1-0 lightweights.

FIGHT: Prevost TKO Rnd 1. Prevost with a leaping front kick and Grossman goes down straight backwards, Prevost leaps on him. Grossman tries to fight his way out. I dunno, this is the amateurs. You get clipped and dropped with a headkick, don't be shocked if the ref comes to save you.

8) Chris Simmons vs. Kevin Absher: Fat heavyweights. Absher is 40.

FIGHT: Absher TKO Rnd 1. Clubberin' fat man kickboxing. Zane Frazier fighting the white dude at UFC 1 was like this but better because there were headstomps and no stalling. That was like two dudes fighting for their lives. This was bad MMA. Very different on the sleeze scale. Absher wins with a right uppercut. Absher did go for a takedown, which was kinda cool of him.

Oh hey, that's actually the whole show. Only runs one hour, then they tack on a MMA 30 episode at the first UFC Fan Expo.

FIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Absher/Simmons

KO OF THE NIGHT: Gavin/Lilly

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT: 2 out of 10. You might have noticed that I didn't give D&R scores. I decided not to type any in because none of these fights mattered. All zeros. There was carnage and that is about all I can say that is good.

D&R Rating: 0%